headermask image

header image

Fat blockers: The Untold Story

When I say that reading the blog post linked below will make you laugh and cry, I am not exaggerating in the least. If you don’t laugh so hard you cry, there is probably something wrong with you. This blogger just made my daily reading list with one funky, nasty, angry post. Do yourself a favor and read this, please. (not for the faint at heart)

(Posted on Angry 365 Days a Year via Salon.com)

A short sample of the text:

A simplified medical description of the drug is that it’s a fat blocker. It stops your body from absorbing some of the fat in your diet. It doesn’t burn calories. But fat that would have otherwise been absorbed by your body… isn’t. Because fat contains calories less calories will go into your body.

But here’s the most important thing the drug does: it makes you shit oil. Worse, it makes you shit your pants. With oil. This is not the ravings of some fringe conspiracy group, this is what the company tells you itself on its website. Buy our drug if you want to lose weight. Oh, by the way, you’ll end up shitting your pants.

Technorati Tags: , , , , ,

If you liked my post, feel free to subscribe to my rss feeds

8 Comments so far (Add 1 more)

  1. I’ve become very interested in side effects recently. I have to take three types of medication a day.

    Med 1 side effects
    fine hand tremor
    dry mouth
    altered taste perception
    weight gain
    increased thirst
    increased frequency of urination
    mild nausea or vomiting
    impotence
    decreased libido
    diarrhea
    kidney abnormalities

    Med 2 side effects
    Nausea
    Dizziness
    Sleepiness
    Abnormal ejaculation
    Sweating
    Dry mouth
    Gas
    Abnormal vision
    Nervousness
    Insomnia
    Loss of appetite
    Constipation
    Confusion/agitation
    Tremor
    Yawning
    Palpitation

    Med 3 side effects
    Difficulty in sleeping (insomnia)
    Headache
    Concentration disturbance
    Tremor
    Dizziness
    Anxiety and agitation
    Depression
    Dry mouth
    Disturbances of the gut such as constipation, nausea, vomiting or abdominal pain
    Fever (pyrexia)
    Sweating
    Rash or itching
    Increased heart rate (tachycardia)
    Increased blood pressure
    Loss of appetite
    Visual disturbances
    Chest pain
    Seizures
    Hypersensitivity reactions such as narrowing of the airways (bronchospasm), swelling of the lips, throat and tongue (angioedema), itchy blistering rash or anaphylactic shock

    I say bring on the shitting oil if that’s the worst it throws at you.

    1. rob on June 22nd, 2007 at 12:02 am
  2. Yes, I’ll take the oil shitting over ‘narrowing of the airways’ and ‘itchy blistering rash,’ thank you. Furthermore, define ‘abnormal’? No wait, don’t!

    Steve

    2. realityonastick on June 22nd, 2007 at 11:45 am
  3. I have to say there is a big difference between I have to take, and WOW this is a great new drug, sign me up! Crapping oil would be horrible! I wonder if it could be the solution to the worlds fuel problem… the NEW biodiesel is born!

    Great post! I have not laughed this hard in recent memory!

    3. Brad Trnavsky on June 24th, 2007 at 2:20 am
  4. would that mean you’d have to keep naked flames away from your anus?

    4. rob on June 24th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
  5. Another alli rant here on my blog (GracefulFlavor). As you might guess, I don’t take too kindly to this sort of sham.

    This drug is a trainwreck. Despite the press and clever packaging, I give this thing six months, tops, before it fades into sunset as a cheap consumer exploit.

    Funny how things that intentionally make you incontinent do that.

    5. Jeff Ventura on June 24th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
  6. Thank God I’m normal. I felt a little bit of pressure clicking on the link for fear of not laughing, but happy to report that I laughed my ass off. I laughed so hard, it hurt. Thanks for the pain, I always enjoy visiting your blog.

    Steve Herder

    6. japanactionresearchinefl on June 25th, 2007 at 3:35 pm
  7. Brad, and Rob: Thanks for keeping the laughs going. Can never have too many poo-poo jokes;-)
    Jeff: Huge honor to have you stop by and comment, as I’m a huge fan of your blogging style. Just finished reading your post. Very well done! Nice work weaving the big, ugly, provocative issues in with the comic relief. I’ll link it in a separate blog entry to make it more visible to folks not monitoring the comments here.
    Steve H: Great to see you back online. I had a quiet month there myself, but had to get back on the horse to regain my sanity!

    7. realityonastick on June 25th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
  8. Well I am sorry I did not do almost everything in my pants, but I promise you I was so sick of it I thaught I was going to die. I had to get doctors to help me and was for 6 days in bed. I also started vometing and I could not swallow, even my voice was gone.

    It was the most terreble experience to have.

    9. elza on April 7th, 2010 at 6:35 am

One Trackback

  1. […] Update: My original post on fat blockers can be found here. […]

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *

*
*